Devouring the Snake's Tail

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Star Wars: Genesis part three
Devouring the Snake's Tail


 

Chapter I

Leia could see Mara turning and she knew as firmly as she had known anything else in her life that if Mara reached them, she would win this battle and Luke would slip away from Leia’s grasp once more.   As soon as Leia realized this, her actions became automatic, out of her control.  Her blaster trained itself on Mara, deft to Han’s demands to know what she was doing.   The stormtroopers were dragging the last remaining rebel to the medical tent and Mara was momentarily distracted by the incident.   Feeling a deep shudder go through her all the way down to her soul, Leia squeezed the trigger.

Everything was still happening in slow motion.   The blaster bolt threw Mara back, her body falling at an impossibly slow pace.  Han was crying out and running past Leia.  She stood frozen in place as Han desperately tried to keep Mara from losing consciousness, the sand around her quickly becoming stained with red.   She watched as Mara slowly closed her eyes, and the blaster slipped from Leia’s numb grasp.  Her legs could no longer support her and she sank to the sand, a pale hand fluttering to her throat.

What have you done?   The words rolled continuously through her head, over and over.   Her hand fell away from her neck to join its counterpart lying limply on her lap.

And suddenly Han was with her again, shaking her gently to get her attention.   “Leia?  Leia! C’mon sweetheart, snap out of it.”

“I killed her.  I never meant to kill her, Han, I thought I had it on stun—” Leia began, her entire body beginning to tremble in reaction to what had just happened.

“Oh! Oh, no, no, she’s not dead, Leia,” Han said, brushing away the tears streaming down his wife’s cheeks.  “She lost consciousness, that’s all.  You hit her on the shoulder, punctured a lung, that’s about the worst of it.   The doc said she would be all right.   Luke too.”

“Luke . . .” Leia murmured, watching as the medics lifted his still prone body onto a stretcher.  “How did this all go so bad?  Oh, stars, Han, I could have killed them both!”

Han put his arms around her to help her stand on her wobbly legs.   “But you didn’t.  What happened to Luke was an accident, and you were right, I didn’t want to find out what Mara was going to do to us once she got past Kyp any more than you did.”

Han steered Leia towards a transport that would take them back to Mos Eisley.   As they went the medics rushed by with Mara’s body laid out on a hover stretcher, her face deathly pale beneath her deep tan.

Leia closed her eyes against the sight, trying to ignore the fact that no matter what Han said, accident or not, this was still all her fault.

 

————————————

 

Leia watched as the 2-1B droid helped Luke wash off the last lingering traces of bacta that clung to his body.  He was unnaturally quiet, his expression lost.  She stepped forward when the bacta was cleaned off, her hands half raised from her sides as she struggled against the impulse to immediately run and embrace him.   The droid led Luke to her and he stopped, just staring at her silently for a long time.  He opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped himself and looked away from his sister’s hopeful expression.  Then he looked back and tried to speak again, but gave up and dejectedly shuffled off to his bed.

 

G O O D  I N T E N T I O N S

 

 Chapter II

“That’s all he does?” Mara asked, her voice weak and broken.

Han nodded slowly, shrugging.  “He just sits in his room and ignores everything.   He won’t even eat.  The doc’s been giving him supplements but he can’t live on them for the rest of his life.”  Han sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  “The only rise we got out of him was when Olive came in.   Even then, all he did was just look at him for a bit.”

“Corran said Olive won’t leave him alone,” Mara commented, her voice even more defeated than before Han had come to see her.

“Yeah,” Han smiled humorlessly.  “He just sits right beside Luke and gives Leia the evil eye every time she enters the room.”

“Good for him.”

Mara sat back in her self-conforming chair and looked around.   Since their rebellion had been fairly constrained, and given that the whole Tatooine water imports issue had become quite the popular debate throughout the New Republic, Mara and Luke were only placed under house arrest.   Though technically that should have put them in the same apartment, the authorities had decided that that could be conductive to further insurrectionary action.

“We should have left him out there with you, but too many people were dying, it couldn’t go on,” Han whispered.   Suddenly he slammed his fist down on the coffee table so violently he made Mara jump and sit up in surprise.   “Damn it!  How could this happen to Luke?  After all he’s been though, this is how he goes out?   It’s not right!”

“Of course it isn’t right!” Mara responded, her voice becoming firm for the first time since that fated battle on the Dune Sea.   “But what were you expecting? Life to be fair?   When has life ever been fair to him?   But the thing about Luke was he never let that stop him.   And he won’t now, he just needs a little more help than he used to.”

Han scrubbed at his face with his hands and then gripped Mara’s arm.   “I know.  I just don’t know what to do and I don’t like being so damn helpless.”

“I understand, Han, believe me,” Mara said, smiling slightly.   “Just be with him.  Don’t automatically side with Leia, because he won’t trust you then.   Just talk with him, even if he doesn’t answer, just talk with him and get him to trust you again.  He’s afraid, Han, he’s so afraid.”

“Of what?”

“The silence,” Mara responded, her eyes deepening with sympathy.   “The never ending silence.”

 

————————————

 

“Say something!” Leia shouted, clenching her fists against her rising frustration.   “Say something!  Say anything!   I don’t care what, just tell me you’re still alive in there!”   She grabbed Luke’s shirt and shook him violently from his seat.   Olive snarled and swatted at her exposed arm from his perch.   Leia cried out and backed away a step, not resisting when Han drew her away even further.

“Why don’t you leave, sweetheart?” Han suggested gently when she had calmed down some.  “Shaking him isn’t going to solve anything.”

Leia looked rebellious for a moment, and then she sighed and gave up.   “You’re right,” she said, rubbing her red rimmed eyes.   “You’re right.  I’m going to go back to our place and try and get some semblance of sleep.”

“All right.  I’m gonna try some more.   He might respond better to me,” Han said softly, kissing Leia on the forehead.  Leia nodded in grudging acceptance and quietly shuffled out of the room.   Taking a deep breath, Han walked over and sat down beside Olive, who had moved to the cushion beside Luke.   Han didn’t try and get by the little dragon; he figured Luke would feel better with some protection.

“Hey, Luke,” Han said when he couldn’t think of anything better to say.   After spending about five minutes trying to think of an opening, he gave up and decided to try a different approach.   “You know, the funniest thing happened the other day.   You remember how you always said the phase converters were the only thing on the Falcon that would never break?  Well, you were wrong.   I was just flying her around the other day to test the new sensor system—you know, that one I’ve been trying to get my hands on for about two years?  Well, I finally got it.   Anyway, I was doing some terrain flying, you know, to see how sensitive the sensors were, and I had to pull a sharp right ‘cause this flag pole jumped right up out of nowhere.  And boom, up goes the phase converter in flames.   Blew itself right off the wall.   Chewie caught himself on fire trying to fix it.   He still has this bald spot on his shoulder.   He’s pretty unimpressed with that, but he said he wouldn’t be so upset about it if we could figure out how it happened—”

“It’s because your phase converter’s about twenty five years old and isn’t compatible with the new information disks,” Luke said softly.   Han almost jumped off the couch when Luke started to speak.   Luke continued, “I was supposed to remind you to replace it, but I got . . . sidetracked.”

Han grinned proudly.  He grabbed an untouched plate of tuber chips from the table and began too much absently.   “Yeah, I remember now.  I hated to give that thing up, its worked for so long.   Wait, couldn’t you fiddle with it?   I thought those sky hoppers you used to fly around when you were a kid had a lot of problems with their phase converters.   You would know more about them then I would.”

Luke nodded, taking one of the tuber chips without thinking about what he was doing when Han offered.  “I did have one, but I smashed it up taking it though Beggar’s Canyon.   You’re right though, those things went though converters like you go though spare parts for the Falcon .  I might be able to jury rig something but I’d need to see the specs for the new sensor system.”

“Sure,” Han said cheerfully, instantly in a better mood than he had been for weeks.  “I’ll bring them with me tomorrow.”

“That would be good,” Luke said, his voice dying off as he turned away from Han, singling the end of the conversation.   But Han didn’t mind, Luke was eating the tuber chips without any further urging and he had sounded, at least for a little while, just like his old self.

 

 

“Leia?  You’re still up?   I thought you said you were going to try and sleep,” Han commented as he walked into their home.  Leia looked up from where she had been reading in a self-conforming chair and smiled wanly at him.

“I couldn’t relax,” Leia explained  “I figured reading the council’s latest list of complaints would knock me right out.  I guess not, though.   But what has you so happy?  Look at you, you look like you’re about to burst!”

Han grinned and pulled Leia out of the chair and hugged her ecstatically.   “I got Luke to talk.  I mean, really talk.  It wasn’t a big long conversation, and it wasn’t as if we talked about anything really important, but he sounded so—so—so normal!”

“He talked, Han?  He really spoke?” Leia asked, urgently gripping his arms in her excitement.

“Yes sweetheart, we had a nice little conversation about the Falcon, and he even ate something without any urging from me,” Han told her, laughing at the excited expression on her face.   “It wasn’t much, but at least it’s something!”

Leia’s eyes lit up and she hugged him just as enthusiastically as he was hugging her.  “Oh, Han, that’s wonderful!   He must be getting better!  Thank the Force, I didn’t know what I was going to do if he didn’t do something soon.”

“Calm down, Leia,” Han said, smoothing back her hair as he saw how upset she was getting.  “Of course he got better.  It’s Luke!   He can pull through anything.  And with all of us helping him, how could he not?”

“I know, Han.  It’s just that—you know all the nightmares I’ve been having?   Well, they’re getting worse.  And the person I keep seeing wondering around a tundra is looking more and more like Luke and he doesn’t look well at all!”   Leia stopped talking and ran her hand through her hair, which she had let hang long after she returned home.   “But he’s now better.  And he’ll keep getting better.  It was just a dream and I don’t have to worry about it.”   Leia compressed her lips and nodded more to convince herself than Han. 

Han raised an eyebrow and forced her to meet his eyes.   He thought about adding that her dreams had sounded like a vision to both of them, and that all of Mara’s visions had come true so far, but thought better of it.  If they continued and if Leia could get something from them, then she would know when to act.   For now, it was just one less thing for her to worry about.   “That must be it, love, just a dream.   And speaking of which, let’s try and go to bed.   Maybe now you’ll be able to sleep.”

Leia smiled genuinely and walked with him to their room.

 

————————————

 

“You can’t put the connector through the ventral port,” Han argued with Luke the next day.  They were sitting cross-legged on the floor as they looked at the plastifilm copy of the sensor system and phase converter specs.  Luke was absently munching on a piece of Grundar jerky, holding it in his teeth as he turned the phase converter specs sideways as he tried to figure them out.   “The port’s got a positive charge, it’ll set off the coolant conductor.”

“No it won’t.  You got the new conductor didn’t you?  Well, then, it’s insulated ‘cause the last module kept catching the new phase converters on fire too.   That’s how they fixed it.  Hell, Han, did you even consult the guide when you were installing the bloody sensor system?” Luke exclaimed in amazement as he grabbed a data pad with the updated technical readout of the Falcon.  “Never mind, I can tell you didn’t.  What else was I expecting?”

Han shrugged.  “I’ve been working on ships way longer than the people who designed that thing.”

“That’s because the species that designed it only has a ten year life span.   Well, I suppose you couldn’t possibly follow the instructions.   The Falcon has so many repaired systems and crossed wires that the instructions wouldn’t even apply to most of her,” Luke commented, turning the phase converter specs upside down and then nodding as he finally found what he was looking for.

He narrowed his eyes at Luke.  “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?”

“Turn the specs upside down or sideways or backwards before you can find what you’re looking for?” Han demanded.

Luke looked up from the specs and grinned at his brother-in-law after popping another piece of jerky into his mouth.  “Han, what position do we usually wind up in when we’re fixing the Falcon?”

“Huh?  Oh, upside down or sideways or backwards.  I got ya,” Han said, promptly picking up the sensor system specs and turning them upside down.   “Hey!  I finally found that relay conduit.”

“See?  It works,” Luke said triumphantly.   He turned it sideways again and then squinted at it.   “What in the void is a ‘physical self repairing mechanism’?”

“Fancy title for a built in hydrospanner.”

“Ah, of course.  Does it actually work?” Luke asked.

Han shook his head.  “Naw.   It’s just one of those gadgets they put in there to impress the people who don’t know what they’re doing.”   Luke nodded, not surprised and started to chew on another piece of Grundar jerky.

Thus things continued in that fashion.  They spent almost a week discussing how to fix the phase converter, even though they were both aware that it should only have taken them a day or two.  Luke stoutly refused to speak with anyone else who came in, and Han stoutly refused to press him on the subject.  So they spent almost all their time together.  Eventually they both decided they had beaten the phase converter issue to death and just gave up any pretence of being productive and started to chat.   Moreover Han found that he was really starting to enjoy himself.   It wasn’t just as if Luke was normal, it was as if the last fifteen years hadn’t happened.  They were talking about ships and maneuvers and the latest models and how to fix this and how to make that more efficient.  They were talking just like they had during the Rebellion.   It was probably nostalgia, or he was getting old, but Han liked it anyway.  He was dead tired of talking about galactic politics and virtuous ethical decisions that would effect billions.   It was then that Han decided that talking about ships and flying wasn’t just a “guy thing”; it was therapeutic.

But all good things must come to an end.   They had just finished a vigorous argument about which was the best blockade runner model on the market when Luke suddenly got a thoughtful expression on his face that Han had seen appear more and more often lately.   He looked at Han and seemed as though he was about to say something, than sighed and leaned back against the couch from his seat on the floor.   Han was beside him and he put down the information data pad they were using to settle the argument to regard his friend.   Luke realized Han was looking at him and started to fiddle with the hem of his shirt.

“Alright, Kid, what is it?  You’re trying to get something out, so say it.  And if it’s about my taste in bulk fighters than I already know you think mine is terrible, but make the insult creative this time,” Han said, grinning to take the sting out of his words.

Luke laughed, though he sounded distracted.   “It—it’s not that.  I just . . . never mind.  I don’t want to know.  It’s stupid for me to ask, it’ll only lead to trouble.”

“You wouldn’t have asked if you didn’t want to know, Kid,” Han said gently, smiling encouragingly.  “C’mon, it’s me.  You can ask me anything.”

Luke licked his lips, his expression almost fearful as he finally asked, “Han . . . can you tell me what happened at the banquet?   I don’t—I can’t remember and I—I think I hurt you.   I know I hurt Karrde, and Leia, but I can’t remember how much or why.  I just—” Luke stopped and rubbed his eyes, “—all I can remember is rage.”

Han sighed in resignation.  He knew this wouldn’t last forever, but he still hated to have it end.   “I would say that about sums it all up.   You went up to the balcony and Leia went after you to talk or something.   Next thing I saw was you throw Leia through the doors.   Me, Mara and Karrde went up to stop you.”   Han paused.  Luke was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face, though Han though he could see the hint of something just waiting to be released.   Han shifted so he could completely face his best friend and grabbed Luke’s shoulder to make him look him in the eye.   “You were out of your mind.  I think Leia said something about Cyan that set you off.   It probably was the chemical imbalance the doc says you have that caused it, which would explain why you don’t remember—”

“Stop it, Han,” Luke interrupted, his voice barely above a whisper.   “What did I do?”

Han licked his dry lips and finally answered, “I reached you first.   I tried to stop you so you threw me down the stairs.”   Luke closed his eyes, the memories slowly returning as Han spoke.   Han continued right on until the terrible scene at the hanger.

When he was finished, Luke opened his eyes and looked at Han.   “What happened to Karrde?  I—I haven’t seen him at all and—and I should have by now.”

“Karrde . . . Karrde hit his head really hard when he fell down the stairs.   He . . . hasn’t woken up yet,” Han told him hesitantly.

Luke whispered a broken oath and let his head fall into his hands as if the weight of what he had done was too much for him to bear.   “By the Great Black Void, what am I becoming?”   The words came out as a wretched plea as he brought his knees up and curled inward as if to escape his actions.

“Hey, look, Kid, you’re not becoming anything.  That wasn’t even really you.  You weren’t in control there at all.  Luke?   C’mon, Luke,” Han said as he tried to coax Luke out of his ball.   He gently forced his brother’s hands away and lifted his tear-streaked face to regard him.  You weren’t in control.  You couldn’t be.  You physically couldn’t be, your brain has something wrong with it that makes it impossible.”

“I could have killed Karrde.  I could have killed you or Mara.  What would have happened if Mara hadn’t caught you?  You’d be the one in the coma!  How could I let myself do that to you?  To the people I love the most in all the universe?” Luke demanded, his self-depreciating behavior increasing.   He felt his anger rising as well, though he did not know why.

“The doc—” Han began.

Luke made a cutting motion with his hand, half-sitting up as his fury rose.   “Screw the doctors!  They don’t know, how can they know?  They believe what Leia tells them.  Lies, all lies.  She said it herself.   I remember now, I remember what she said.   She admitted it then, she fucking admitted that she stuck him in the carbonite!   She killed him . . .my sister killed him . . .” His fury died just as suddenly has it had begun, cold and empty.   He sobbed and slumped forward; Han caught his shuttering body and hugged him close.   Han felt his own tears sting his eyes as the horrible truth finally became indisputable to him.  All the little hints and clues he’d turned a blind eye too because he refused to believe.   The excuses and rationalization he had come up with then sounded so hollow in his ears now.   There was no denying it anymore, Leia had done it, she had really done it.   The unthinkable thing Han had thought she could never have done in a million years, and she had done it.

“I know, Luke, I know,” Han said, his voice becoming broken as well.   “It’s hard to believe, but you can’t let it consume you.   You gotta move on.  I miss Cyan too, not as much as you, I couldn’t possibly miss him as much as you do, but you can’t let that be the focus of your life.   You still have all of us.  You have me, Mara—”

“But I don’t have Mara,” Luke interrupted, drawing back slightly.   “They won’t let me see her.  I love her, and I love you too, but you can’t fill what was taken away from me.  I see it every night, every day, every second.  In the back of my mind, gnawing at my every thought and emotion.”   Han embraced him again in a mute reminder that he was still there.   Mara was right, Han thought to himself, when Luke lets go he lets go in a big way.  Eventually Han had to support Luke as he pulled him to his bed, tugging the covers up when Luke almost immediately drifted off into a fitful sleep. Then Han sank down to the floor, biting his lip as his own emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

 

 


Chapter III

Han sat at his kitchen table, gazing at his wife in puzzlement.   He had spent the last couple of days wrestling over whether or not he should confront her, and was still undecided, but her latest announcement had driven that dilemma from his mind and produced a whole new one.   “Explain to me again why we’re taking Luke to Konstan Prime?”

“There’s too many reminders here.  He keeps getting reminded of what happened and he can’t move beyond it.   If we move him away from here, he might be able to get past everything and get some perspective,” Leia explained.

“Get past everything?” Han asked, amazed.   “I don’t think this is the kind of thing you just ‘get past’.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.  I know this will take a long time, but we should do everything we can to help him along and I think this is it.  I just about have the Tatooine government talked into dropping the house arrest.   Mara’s coming too and maybe we can get her in there to see him.”   Leia smiled hesitantly at the dower expression on Han’s face as he mulled this new information over.  He was so distant the last few days, Leia mused, and maybe if they were away, she could find out what was bothering him while they were at it.   “I’ve almost got things fixed.”

Han looked up at her, and irrational surge of anger threatening to burst out.  “There’s not much you can ever do to fix things,” he muttered, rising from the table and his half-eaten breakfast.   Leia looked up at him, surprised at his sudden outburst.   “I’m going over to Luke’s.  I’ll tell him what’s going on.”

Han left his house swiftly before Leia could stop him and before he could say something else he would regret later.   He made his way to Luke’s apartment and let himself in.   He found Luke sitting on the couch, absently stroking Olive as he stared off into nothingness.  He looked at Han when he entered and frowned, immediately on guard.   “What is it?”

“You’re getting moved,” Han explained.

“Moved?” Luke asked, perplexed.  “What are you talking about?”

Han sighed and walked over, plopping down in a chair.   “Leia’s taking you to Konstan Prime ‘cause she thinks you’ll feel better if you get away from here.  Wants you to get some ‘perspective’.”

“She’s grasping at straws,” Luke commented, setting back.   “I suppose this eliminates any chance I have of seeing Mara.”

“Not at all.  Leia’s actually working on it and has them talked into letting Mara at least come with us, if not stay with us.  I’m sure you’ll see her soon, Kid,” Han said, trying to keep his current bad mood from showing on his face.

But Luke saw it.  “What’s wrong with you?”

“The thing that seems to be wrong with everyone these days.   Leia,” Han growled.

“Uncalled for displays of anger directed at that particular person are my job, Han,” Luke said, smiling slightly.  “So you’d better have a good reason for moving onto my territory.”

Han laughed softly, his bad mood evaporating.   If Luke could joke, so could he.   “Well, I wouldn’t want to do that.   But tell me, Kid, what do you think of her latest idea?   I mean, if you really don’t want to, than I’m sure I can convince her to not take you there.”

“No,” Luke shook his head, watching his brother closely.   “I really couldn’t care less.  Besides, I think you two have enough between you right now.”

“What?  You’re pushing for Leia’s happiness now?” Han asked, incredulous.

Luke shook his head again, still watching him.   “No, yours.  You still love her and I really can’t get any . . . hmm, perspective on the situation right now.  It’s your choice, Han, I don’t want to influence you either way.”

The move went without incident, which was probably the part that bothered Leia the most.  Luke withdrew into his own little world and stayed that way until he reached his new room on Konstan Prime.  They flew low over the crystalline landscape when they arrived, the rose colored spikes rising majestically into the air.  They kept Mara and Luke in different parts of the shuttle, but the whole way there Leia could see Luke’s eyes trained on the door that lead to her, even though he hadn’t been told which part of the shuttle she was in.

Despite Leia’s best hopes, things went exactly the same once they had landed.   Luke ignored everyone except Han, and Han would not reveal what they talked about.   Leia was also becoming increasingly worried about her husband.   He spent almost all his time with Luke, and when he finally did come home, he barely spoke to her at all.   She tried to broach the subject most every day, but Han stubbornly refused to admit anything was wrong.

Mara wasn’t too pleased with the whole situation either.   She spent most of her days pacing her room, trying not to worry herself to death.  Besides that she sparred with Corran when he found the time to come down, and tried not to go insane from frustration and boredom.

“Whoa!  Ease off, Mara!   We’re sparring, not trying to kill each other,” Corran commented when Mara’s lightsaber almost sliced off a good chunk of his ear.

Mara snorted.  “They’re on low power, it’ll just sting a little if they hit.”

“I know, I just don’t like any kind of energy beam hitting me in the head.   I like it too much,” Corran answered, acting wounded.  

Mara just shrugged and turned off her own lightsaber.   “Well, it’s not as if you use it very much, being a pilot and all.”

“Geez, what crawled up your ass?” Corran asked, stunned by her sudden offensive manner.

“Your mother.”

Corran crossed his arms and glared at her.   “Alright, now you’re just taking cheap shots.   What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Mara growled, slumping into a chair and staring at the floor as if it was offending her too.

Corran grunted.  “Yeah, right.   You know, the last time you were this bitchy was when you were pregnant.   If I didn’t know better I . . .” Corran’s voice trailed off when Mara looked up at him with a bitter half smile.   “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Corran asked, though he already knew the answer.

“Yep.  Great timing, huh?” Mara said sardonically.

“Pregnancies rarely come when you want them too,” Corran commented dryly.   “How far along?”

“Two months.  The doctors checked me out the other day and say they can’t find any complications at the moment, but that could change at any time,” Mara added, running her hands through her still blue hair.  She started to brush it behind her hears then stopped herself; she didn’t even have the long bangs anymore, she’d cut them off at the first chance.   She glanced at a mirror on a wall and saw herself hunched in a chair, pale skinned with dark circles under her eyes.   Her hair was scraggly from her recent exertion; sweat made it dark and curly.  She could see the sharp lines of bitterness returning to her face, lines that had eased when she had realized she loved Luke.  “I have to see him, Corran.  I’ve got to see Luke and tell him.”  She sighed and let her face fall into her hands.  “But there’s no chance they’ll let me see him.   Not any time soon.  I don’t care how hard Leia argues.”

Corran regarded her thoughtfully for a moment and then crouched down beside her, whispering softly.  “Maybe there is a way.”

 

 

Leia ripped her arm away from Han’s grasp and glared at her husband angrily.   “Why can’t I see him?” she demanded.

“Because,” Han said, glancing nervously at the guards in front of Luke’s room, “he doesn’t want to see you.  We brought him here to reduce his stress level, not rise it.”

“You can’t predict how he’ll react to just seeing me!   I won’t yell at him or something.   Hell, if you insist I won’t even mention Cyan.   And you’ll be in there with me!   He trusts you.”  Leia smiled reassuringly and gripped Han’s arm.  “Why don’t you trust me?”

Han stared at her long and hard before answering, his voice heavy with betrayal, “Because you don’t trust me.  You lied to me and you hurt Luke terribly and then covered up what you’d done like some kind of criminal!”

Han and Leia talking in the hall “What?  What are you talking about?” Leia asked, fear beginning to edge its way into her voice.

“Luke remembers what happened at the banquet now.   All he needed was for me to remind him and he remembered everything.   Including what you said to him.   I never, even in my deepest moments of doubt, thought that you were capable of doing what everyone else has been saying you did.   But . . .” Han’s voice broke off, he couldn’t go on.   Now that he had gotten everything out, he felt strangely drained, empty.  The expression on Leia’s face was too much and he turned away.  The feelings of pity and anger warred within him and he struggled with which one to obey.

Leia licked her lips, seeing the struggle on Han’s face.   She touched his arm and he flinched, almost drawing away from her.   Leia let her hand fall and said in a voice thick with determination, “I’m going in there, I’m going to talk with Luke, and we’re going to settle this.  This is the end, Han, no matter what.”

“What do you mean?” Now it was Han’s turn to be wary.

“A dream.   It wasn’t the same as the one I’ve been having, it . . . it didn’t really show me anything; it was more like feelings.   I can feel the climax coming,” Leia said, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.  “This had to stop sometime.”

She slipped past her husband and approached Luke’s door.   She turned back just in time to see him slump against the wall, letting his head rest against it as if he couldn’t bear the weight anymore.   Leia started to go to him but Han moved away with a gusty sigh.   “I guess you can’t stop fate,” he said softly.   Leia looked at him steadily.  She wanted to say she was sorry, she wanted to explain why, she wanted to tell him what had really happened.  But so much depended on her silence . . . Leia looked away and walked through the door.

Luke started in surprise when he first saw Leia enter.   His gaze flickered to Han and a crease appeared between his raised eyebrows when he saw his brother’s expression.   Leia walked to the centre of the small living room and gave Luke a small smile.  He was staring at her with wide eyes, half raised off the couch as if he would have run, reminding Leia very much of a frightened pray animal.   Much as he probably sees me as the predator, Leia commented to herself.   Thinking of this, Leia decided to treat Luke just as he seemed.   She crouched on the floor so that she was looking up at him instead of looking down at him, and compressed her body.   She kept her smile small, not overly ecstatic, but not emotionless.   Luke watched her without moving, not even twitching a muscle.

“Hello, Luke,” Leia said, keeping her voice low, but not whispering.   “I just thought I’d drop in and see how you’re doing.   I know you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with Han but I wanted to see how you were doing myself.”   Leia kept her voice at the same level, like a light conversation.   She remember what Han had told her about how he got Luke to respond to her so she made sure there was no pressure on him to respond this time.   She was venturing everything, he was venturing nothing.   Luke stared at her still, but slowly sat back down, though his body was tense, ready to flee at the slightest threat.   Leia considered sitting on the couch with him but thought better of it.  Don’t push your luck!

“I . . . I know you’re still angry at me, and I can understand that, believe me.  I know what I did seems very horrible but I had lots of reasons—” Leia said, a quiver finding its way unbidden into her voice.

“Then what were they?”

Now it was Leia’s turn to jump.  Luke had spoken naught but a whisper though the sound cut through the room like a knife.  Unfortunately, his question left her at a loss to answer.  How did she tell him without ruining everything?   How did she tell him without undoing all of what her lies were meant to do?

Leia brought her fingers to her mouth and answered cautiously, “Sometimes something seems so good, we can’t see past it to what is real.   Sometimes we do see it, but we don’t want to let go of it so we ignore the bad parts.  Everyone is guilty of this whether we like to admit it or not, or if we are even aware that we have done it.  It’s easy to be blind to darkness when the light is so bright.”

The skin around Luke’s eyes tightened; the first signs of his anger.   “So . . . you saw what no one else saw?   Even though you are one of the most under-trained in the Force, and knew Cyan the least of anyone, you could see what he really was?”   He did not raise his voice, he kept it soft; he didn’t need to raise it, his eyes spoke volumes.

“I’m a politician, Luke,” Leia said, shrugging.  “It’s my job to figure out if people are being truthful or not.   I didn’t get to my position by being bad at that.   Hell, having that skill is the only way to survive on the council.”

“And you think, sister dear, that I don’t have the same skill?   Don’t you think I need to know exactly what my students are like as soon as possible?  You fail in this regard and you lose a deal, have a little bit of power wrestled away that you quickly regain.  I fail in this regard and an innocent soul is lost to darkness.   Yes, I was injured.  Yes, I was drugged.  But the Force has never failed me before and I do not think it will start now!”   Luke’s voice started at the same soft whisper, but rose and rose as his fury rose until he was on his feet shouting.   He took a menacing step towards her and Leia was forcibly reminded of the scene on the balcony.  Han rushed from behind the couch and grabbed Luke’s arm to stop his advance.

Leia stood back up and forced herself to stay calm.  He doesn’t mean to be like this, Leia reminded herself sternly.   He can’t help it.  You got no more than you expected; you pushed, and he pushed back.   Leia regarded him carefully and saw through his anger to his underlying fear.  Leia stretched out through the bond that held sister and brother together still to see what was really frightening him.  Alone!   He was so alone! Leia almost shuttered as the feeling washed over her.  She had never felt anything like it before; not even when she thought she had lost him, lost Han or anyone else had she been so afraid of being alone.   Why?  Why did losing Cyan, who he had known for such a short time, making him feel this way?  

Because even in the beginning they were destined to be together, as they were destined to be together in the end.  The only other soul to compare to that is Mara, and because of you, she is lost to him as well. It took every part of Leia’s control to keep from crying out at the sound of that voice.   Who was it?  It was so musical, so beautiful, and so familiar.  And then it hit her with the force of a physical blow.   The Mother Dragon.  Even from across the galaxy, the Mother Dragon could reach her, could see into her soul and speak to her.  The sheer amount of power that must take struck a feeling of deep and terrible dread into Leia’s heart.  It also started the fist cracks in beliefs she had clung to for so long.   And as she looked into Luke’s eyes, eyes that were so revolted with the sight before them they could view it no longer and turned away in disgust and disappointment, Leia felt the crack widen until it was large enough for the waters of truth to slowly pour through.

“I never said the Force failed you,” Leia said, struggling to keep the turmoil in her soul from showing on her face.  Her gaze flickered to Han and she knew he saw her struggle as plainly as if it was written on her face.  Luke would have seen it too had he the strength to look upon her.   “But maybe, just maybe, you failed yourself.   And maybe Cyan failed you too.  He saw what he could have, and it was too much and the darkness took over him, and by then it was too late.  You thought you could trust him, and when you first joined, I honestly think you could have.  But temptation was too much for a creature spawned of darkness, and all Cyan could do was give in to his natural instincts.”  Even as she said the words, they rang hollow in her own mind.   She could see Han shaking his head; he too was unable to look at her anymore.  But Luke heard the words, though it seemed as if he was no longer listening.   He was lost and no one was there to help him.   He looked at Han and he seemed so distant, so unfamiliar.   He turned back to Leia and she was a stranger looking at him with dull, grief filled eyes riddled with self-doubt.

Run! The beautiful, musical voice came to him.   A voice he recognized so well!   It was Her, the one that gave life to Cyan, the one that gave him that wonderful, fleeting joy that was cut tragically short.   The voice that had whispered sweet reassurances as the two became one, as the Son of Suns joined with The Blue. Run, it whispered again, run like the winds you once soared on!  Run like the river of life from which we sprang!   Run with the fleet footedness of the soul to the one who waits for you.  Run to the crystal mountains.   Run through the shards of rose.   Run to the edge of the river of life and plunge in, then all will be made as clear as its watery depths.

With a wild cry that caught both his brother and sister off guard, Luke broke away from Han’s grip on his arm and bolted for the door.   It was unlocked so that Han and Leia could enter, and the guards could rush in if need be.  It opened at his touch as he heard Han shout behind him.   The guards turned, bringing their weapons to bear, but Luke shoved them against the opposite wall impatiently.   The Force flowed through him, gone was the pain, washed away by that musical voice.  He ran down the hall, mindless of those that tried to stop him.   He heard only one thing, heeded only one voice.

Run to the crystal mountains.  Run through the shards of rose . . .

 

On the other side of the building, nothing seemed amiss.   The two guards stood in front of Mara Jade-Skywalker’s room, bored and uninterested in their duty.  Everyone knew she and her husband were getting off.   No way was the President of the New Republic going to let her brother and sister-in-law go to jail, and most of the public followed her view.   These two had saved the galaxy more than once, what was one little infringement, especially for the good and virtuous cause they had chosen?

One of the guards spotted two people walking casually down the hallway.   One was dressed in the uniform of a pilot, the emblem of Rogue Squadron stitched on his left shoulder.  Beside him, with her arm hocked through his, strode a strikingly beautiful woman with an intricately patterned shawl wrapped around her hair.   But even as the guard thought this, he saw the look in her eyes, the look of one who had been around the galaxy more than a few time.

“Good morning Captain Horn, Madam Terrik-Horn,” the guard said graciously, handing them a data pad he always kept in his pocket.   He saw the X-Wing pilot press his thumbprint in the appropriate place, and then his wife did the same.  The guard opened the door and allowed them to enter.   “Enjoy your visit,” he added pleasantly as the couple passed.

Mirax Terrik-Horn turned to regard the guard with a smile and a gaze as sharp as a blaster bolt.  “Oh, we will, thank you.”  The guard thought there was something odd about her expression but before he could ask what she meant the door shut behind them, forestalling any questions.   The guard shrugged it off.  Probably nothing.  It wasn’t as if they were going to try and break her out or anything.

Therefore, when they emerged a half-hour later, the guard said nothing as the two walked past down the hall.  If he thought it odd that Terrik-Horn kept her face pressed near her husband’s and whispered something into his ear—covering her mouth and thus half her face in the process—the guard did not indicate it.   He did notice, as they walked away down the hall, that the way the light hit the small tendrils of her hair escaping her shawl seemed to turn them the most lovely shade of blue . . .

They rounded the corner and it was everything Mara could do to keep from bursting out laughing.  “You were right, Corran, that was dreadfully easy.”

“I know,” Corran said with a grim smile.   “Just image if you were actually a threat.”

“That’s not a fun thought at all,” Mara said.

Corran shrugged.  “At least they’re a little more observant at Luke’s door.  I hope I can alter their minds enough to get in.”

“We can still go back if you’re having second thoughts,” Mara said gently.   “I don’t want you getting into trouble for this.”

“No, I said I was going to help you and I’m sticking to it.   Besides, if I told Whistler that he hacked into the city’s central computer and put that looping film of you reading a data pad in there for nothing, I’ll never hear the end of it,” Corran commented dryly.

They went the rest of the way in silence, fearing that someone would overhear them talking.  They reached the corridor leading to Luke’s room just in time to see him go through the doors and throw the two guards against the wall with enough force to knock them out.

“Luke!” Mara cried, taking a step towards him.

Luke turned and looked at her without recognition.   His lips moved and Mara just managed to hear what he said.   “Run to the crystal mountains, run through the shards of rose . . .”  With that he turned around and ran down the hallway.  Corran and Mara traded confused expressions and then, with a shrug, ran of after him.

It was then that Corran heard a muffled curse and pelting footsteps behind them.  He looked over his shoulder and saw Han running as if his life depended on it.

“What in the black void happened?” Corran demanded, slowing his pace so that Han could catch up to him.

Han shook his head, gasping for air.  “Don’t know.  Leia was talking to him, pissed him off and then he just went nuts, talking about mountains and roses and stuff.”

“Where’s he going?” Corran asked, his breath coming quick as they attempted to follow Luke’s insane path through the building.   Mara drew a little closer to Luke, her